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Growing Pains



It's graduation season again and with people posting throwbacks left and right, I can't help but think about my own college graduation last year, and the (supposed) grand gate of adulthood that one passes thereafter. So much has been said about reluctant adulthood and Generation Y constantly thinking that by their twenties, they'd know exactly what it was they wanted to do. Like we thought that age 21 was the promised land of Having Everything Figured Out.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that people haven't ever actually had it figured out by 25. (and that's okay!) It's just that people never wrote a million listicles about it. Our parents and our parents' parents, instead of contemplating life's mysteries at the edge of a cliff and trying to "get lost to find themselves," (there are very few things more grating to hear than someone say those exact words) were making life happen. They worked their asses off to build their own dreams for themselves and their kids, in order to survive and sustain (and elevate) their standard of living.

I guess a small percent of it was because marrying young was the norm then, and people were thrust into the Ocean of Life with no floaters, left to swim all on their own. Growing up wasn't an option, it was a necessity - because there was a baby, a wife/husband, bills to pay.

Cut to 2015. We live in a world where twentysomethings would much rather preoccupy themselves with crafting the image of a perfect lifestyle instead of channelling that same effort and energy into achieving it. It's not even a matter of wanting; the number of aspirational pinboards on Pinterest and comments of #goals on something ideal are proof that people do have dreams. It's a matter of doing, and I feel like most of our generation is not willing to do what it takes to get it. Sometimes, me included. I think about how I'd be perfectly content with living in a farm or by the sea. Then I realize that that farm isn't in this country, but more like in the Netherlands. And I don't want to be milking those cows myself, I'd want people to milk these cows for me. And I think, hey, maybe I'd like to own that farm. And land isn't cheap, not in the Philippines, and certainly not in Switzerland.

So by lifestyle, am I talking about a studio loft in NYC with large windows and white brick walls? A little bit, but moreso:  Growing old and being able to afford expensive medical treatment if and when you get sick, not relying on potential children to take care of you when it does happen, securing a good and functional home for your family, living a life of comfort and security  working hard enough while you're young and strong so that when you get older, you don't need to worry about those things. Practical, pragmatic, and very real things. The sort of stuff they don't romanticize on Elite Daily or Thought Catalog.

Screw money. Find your passion and the rest will follow. Get lost in foreign cities. Swim in endless oceans. Dive off a helicopter. 

People have written articles about 'traveling young' and 'following your passions' probably more than Google can count. Travel while you're young and able, they say. Sounds tempting, no? But what do you think about: Build your dreams while you're young and able? Or, work hard now and save and invest for your future while you're young and able? Doesn't quite have that nice ring to it as "swim in endless oceans". But that's the thing. It isn't about what's nice to hear, or what photographs nicely on your Instagram.

Of course, that's not to say that traveling and building your dreams are exclusive of one another. You want to travel? Go to concerts? Be in a meaningful relationship? That's fantastic. And I mean that genuinely, with no sarcasm whatsoever. Life can't be all work and no play. Energy, at this age, is incomparable. I know everyone is all about the "now" and what is at present, and people don't like talking about the future because it terrifies them. But you know what? Setting things in motion presently will make the road to the inevitable future a lot less daunting.

Dreading Mondays, working like dogs to build someone else's bright future, living for the weekends, and living paycheck to paycheck - is that the way to live? Certainly not. But is it necessary? As a starting point, perhaps. But always, always aim higher. Dreaming bigger never hurt anyone, but thinking small does.

I spent a good fifteen minutes trying to think of a way to end this 8-paragraph strong brain fart. I tried writing about my future plans, or how to move forward, but it fell short. I couldn't think of anything conclusive, because there is no conclusion. No witty one-liner, no poetic end note. We need to get comfortable with how there aren't always answers, and there definitely isn't a yellow brick road to your proverbial happy ending. It is what it is, and that should be okay.

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